The Unmutual Reviews: Prisoner of Sex (DVD) Review by Mr Dolemite.


Well someone had to review it didn't they?!

The film is of US origin and is about 50 minutes long. It was made by 'Covert productions' (601??) :) Has topless girl on front cover and a penny farthing.

The Prisoner starts off being called Drake and is a porn star. The first sex scene is him nailing another secret agent from 'the other side' but he does have the sense to wear a rubber. He finishes a porn shoot and has an argument with the Porn Boss about the payroll. He then goes and slams down a letter of resignation in the face of a woman who resembles Su Pollard!.

He drives home but is tailed by a black car. Inside his flat packing he gets gassed. Wakes up in The Village already wearing a Number 69 Badge. Instead of the splendour of the real Village, this looks like someone's back garden.

He goes into the shop and theres a bimbo behind the counter wearing the stripey t-shirt with a number badge. He asks for a map, one that shows the roads. Instead of selling him a map she tries to sell him a porno he starred in or a jolly mag. You guessed it - Number 69 is in the Village sex shop!.

He then meets number 3 (not 2!) who runs the place. He is wearing a red blazer and stroking a cat??. He has a chair but an oval shape. He shows 69 the surveillance equipment and they spy on a couple of ladies having some 'girl on girl' action!. Then a fat bloke enters and ruins the whole scene. A cameo from Sharon Mitchell (Ex star who now directs) saying there was no escape for 69 while staying fully clothed .

69 meets a woman who tells him she knows a way out. Apparently he can crawl under a gap in the fence (Not as easy as the real village to escape then ?!). He goes to crawl under the gap but gets collared buy a Green Bouncy Ball on a string. He wakes back in 3's residence. He is warned that 'Porn stars don't resign!'.

Then he has another shag can't remember why ! :) He is then made to undergo therapy which entails him being forced to sit through a selection of porn clips he has starred in. They are trying to brainwash him so he stays and makes more Porn!. He survives that, only at the end to meet the New Number 3 who declares 'I am the new number 3 .....Be seeing you'. The freeze frame then gets something that resembles bars crashing across the screen!

To sum it up: Awful quality, tame sex scenes, and a lot of Ham acting. Also is 'any region' so is quite handy. But essential for all Real Prisoner fans who wanna laugh !

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